Should I fear my children growing up and leaving home?

Oh so many times I’ve heard mom’s say that their children grow up too fast. Right now I’m facing this head on! My youngest is already becoming independent! Can It be that I’ve reached the fifties? shouldn’t I be a grandmother already? How did I ever get here? Should I fear my children growing up and leaving home? Mothers do fret don’t they?

I have so many questions.

There is an unlimited amount of asking going on. Recently I came across a poem by a man who lived in the 13th century known as Rumi. One of the poems he wrote caught my eye and it goes like this:

“The breezes at dawn have secrets to tell you
Don’t go back to sleep!
You must ask for what you really want.
Don’t go back to sleep!
People are going back and forth
across the doorsill where the two worlds touch,
The door is round and open
Don’t go back to sleep!”

This very well known poet caught my interest because his poems epitomize a “call from an independent soul yearning for true freedom from dogma and hypocrisy.” It also says: “Ask for what you really want“! Since I am an avid seeker of true freedom I decided to take his poem to heart and implement what it suggests.

Insomnia or anxiety?

You see, I wake up every morning in the early hours between 3 and 4 am. I am wide awake. Nothing wakes me … not a dream, not a sound, not a child. I just wake up. In the past I used to struggle to get back to sleep. According to the Ohio State University, anxiety is to blame and reportedly it “can cause you to wake up in the middle of the night and have trouble getting back to sleep (called middle insomnia, or sleep maintenance insomnia). Terminal insomnia, which happens when you wake up before your ideal wake-up time and just can’t fall back asleep, may be a sign of depression.” Doctors and specialists subscribe all kinds of medication to suppress this ‘sleeplessness’.

Proof is in the pudding

So, I thought, let’s see … I’m not anxious … and I am certainly not depressed. I’ve been using natural supplements to support my body and I feel great, but I still wake up. What I’m going to do is get up and meditate, and not go back to sleep, just like Rumi’s poem suggests. I’ve figured that there are always two sides to a coin. Without one side there is no other … obviously. What if the insomnia is just the one side. What if there was another angle to this. Another side. Where I can ask for what I really want! I decided to pursue this and possibly discover the ‘other side’.

I had been meditating for quite a while now. It has been a true blessing. During these quiet times I often become inspired to do something special to expand my life in specific directions. When I started meditating in these early morning hours I was astounded at how different it was. How beautiful it was. Complete and peaceful silence followed by interesting and powerful “insights”! Are these insights coming from me? From my sub-conscious? God? These were thoughts that I wouldn’t normally think. Thoughts that can be construed as guidance. The clarity I experience when I meditate in these early hours is astounding.

It is at this hour that all momentum of the day subsides

When I investigated this further I came to realise that it is at this hour that all momentum of the day subsides. All thoughts, concerns and worries are laid to rest. Thoughts and concerns for the following day have not started. It is the tipping point where you and the universe are one. Peace takes over and a feeling of bliss fills your body. Oh how wonderful it is to just sit there and be in the presence of ‘all that is’ while my cup runneth over. Is this what it is like to be in the presence of God? It must be! When the whole world around me disappears, and a smile rushes to my face and tears stream from my eyes, I will hear the words of God. And the words “Be still and know that I am God” becomes an all-encompassing truth. It is during this time that I receive ideas, direction, insights, comfort, knowledge and so much more.

The full understanding that all is in control.

Rumi was right! He must have experienced this. He must have known that this is the hour that God speaks. When “those that have ears can hear“. The reason why Jesus often went into the wilderness to meditate. This kind of guidance is priceless for me as a loving mother. The full understanding that all is in control. That all is well. That life is a beautiful mystery of learning and growing in joy and love. That I can ask protection for my children and know that it is done – because as a mother, that is what I really want.

I now know what real faith is.

This kind of joy and peace is what all mothers need and deserve.

The information on this blog is for educational and entertainment purposes only and should not be construed as advice, diagnosis or implied treatment. Please consult a professional should you experience discomfort or dis-ease.



Freedom and the stuff a mother has to do

I found myself analysing my daily routine and the stuff a mother has to do that nobody takes notice of. I longed for something I could do just for myself. I’m sure every mom out there asks this question some or other time. Of course during my contemplation I asked God (as we mostly do with these deep questions): Why is it that you can’t just tell us what to do – something that a mom can do without losing touch with her kids. There are so many options. Which route do we take? Something that takes very little time so we can still be with our kids, but that is very fulfilling of course. A tall order! These days most moms have a job! Married or not. And they have to scurry around like crazy to make ends meet. You’re in control. Why can’t you make it easier for moms?

I know I know, it was rhetorical alright?

But guess what. I did get an answer!

It came booming into my ears, AUDIBLY! I’ve never had such an experience before and you can think I’m crazy … think what you want but listen to this. It will change your life forever as it has mine over the last few years.

This was the answer:

“I can not tell you what to do. You have to choose what you want to do and I will support you along the way. It is called free will.”

Whaaaaaat? Did that rattle your cage? It sure rattled mine. I have to choose? How can I have to choose? Don’t I have a destiny? I thought.  It’s Your mysterious way or the highway! We are forever being told to seek first the kingdom of God! And now You say I must choose? I want what You want! I was being rather disrespectful I guess.

Nevertheless, I was slapped with full comprehension – instantly. It was not a pretty sight, but I have it now. YES! You have to choose. You see, I am (just like you are) preparing to actually exercise my new found free will.

The free will you never knew you had.

I m freeI have now learned about real free will. The kind of free will I never knew I had. I am sure many don’t realise the extent of this free will that they have. It is scary and overwhelming but extremely intriguing. I learned or rather realised that this is a truth that was obfuscated for a very long time. I suppose one could imagine that such free will in the wrong hands could wreak havoc. In fact, it is a natural law that was put in place in ‘the beginning’. I had it all the time. You have it too. Perhaps, like me you just didn’t realise the extent of it. Do you know how it works? REAL Free will?

Here’s what I understand. I can choose whatever I like! I love! I enjoy thoroughly, because I know I will be supported.

How will I be supported? I don’t know. And I’m not supposed to care! You see if you experienced what I experienced, you will know and have the understanding that you will be supported in supernatural ways;

  • that you don’t need to care about it;
  • that it will always be enough, all the time;
  • that you simply have to ask and it will be given;
  • that it doesn’t matter how it happens because you can rest assured that it will be incorporated within your dream life and that it will flow like water.

My head was spinning.

I understand now. You have to step out in faith. The kind of faith that is blind. (The kind of faith your mother warned you about. 🙂 just kidding) The kind of faith I am now encouraging you to take with a sober mind. It is only when you take that first step that you will see the next rock appear below your foot that will stop you from plunging into deep waters.

You have to know that you will be carried through … step by step.

I understood that the first step is …

Make a decision.

Forever and a day I thought I must look out for signs that will guide me to my destiny. I distinctly remember embarking on a journey creating a specific venture and interesting synchronicities happening that made me think ‘I’ve found my destiny’! And then when it didn’t work out I would really wonder what happened? It was so clear and so obvious. Why didn’t it work out and why did it stop? Now I know that those were merely there for me because I made a decision – the support coming through. And when I started doubting, things happened for it not to work out – because how can I get support when I’m not sure where I am going? It was me! All ME! I doubted. I changed my mind! My desires and thinking was sloppy!

That hit me right between the eyes. I felt like I had been shocked right into another dimension! Have you ever had that? You have to make a solid decision. Wow. This needs more discussion and exploration.

I’m going to start a forum where moms like me can chat about our lives as moms. Where we can just be ourselves and can laugh and enjoy the wonder of this life. Where we can explore the infinite possibilities lying before us because we have discovered who we really are. If you’re such a mom and you’d like to share the wonders of this discovery and learn and teach other moms … subscribe to my newsletter so you don’t’ miss when our very own, very special, very private forum is ready!

The information on this blog is for educational and entertainment value only and should not be construed as advice, diagnosis or implied treatment. Please consult a professional should you experience discomfort or dis-ease.



Overcoming the burdens of motherhood

“Cast your burdens upon Me …” – a paradigm shift

One particular morning I woke up exhausted. I know you know the feeling. Oh how wonderful it would be if someone would just take away all the worries and burdens I thought, and I remembered Psalm 55:22 (NKJV) that goes

Cast your burden on the Lord,
And He shall sustain you;

As I mediated upon these words I suddenly understood that when He said: “… cast your burdens upon Me (the Lord)”, He didn’t mean that He would solve them or take them away. He said it so that I can return to the state of nirvana! When in the state of nirvana, I would automatically attract solutions to myself and victory will be mine! No matter what the circumstances. And this because He loves me unconditionally and promised me free will.

Relief from the burdens of motherhood

This insight was meant to clarify to me the reality of creation. That I am the one, orchestrating my life. That through this promise by Him I can discover real freedom. Real faith. And true unconditional love.

I present these words to every mother in the world … that she may find peace and solace as she discovers unconditional love.


Nirvana is a place of perfect peace and happiness, like heaven. In Hinduism and Buddhism, nirvana is the highest state that someone can attain, a state of enlightenment, meaning a person’s individual desires and suffering go away.

The information on this blog is for educational and entertainment purposes only and should not be construed as advice, diagnosis or implied treatment. Please consult a professional should you experience discomfort or dis-ease.



A mother finds relief Cannabidiol may hold benefit for anxiety-related disorders.

Cannabidiol (CBD) is one of many cannabinoid compounds found in cannabis. It does not appear to alter consciousness or trigger a “high.”