Oh so many times I’ve heard mom’s say that their children grow up too fast. Right now I’m facing this head on! My youngest is already becoming independent! Can It be that I’ve reached the fifties? shouldn’t I be a grandmother already? How did I ever get here? Should I fear my children growing up and leaving home? Mothers do fret don’t they?
I have so many questions.
There is an unlimited amount of asking going on. Recently I came across a poem by a man who lived in the 13th century known as Rumi. One of the poems he wrote caught my eye and it goes like this:
“The breezes at dawn have secrets to tell you
Don’t go back to sleep!
You must ask for what you really want.
Don’t go back to sleep!
People are going back and forth
across the doorsill where the two worlds touch,
The door is round and open
Don’t go back to sleep!”
This very well known poet caught my interest because his poems epitomize a “call from an independent soul yearning for true freedom from dogma and hypocrisy.” It also says: “Ask for what you really want“! Since I am an avid seeker of true freedom I decided to take his poem to heart and implement what it suggests.
Insomnia or anxiety?
You see, I wake up every morning in the early hours between 3 and 4 am. I am wide awake. Nothing wakes me … not a dream, not a sound, not a child. I just wake up. In the past I used to struggle to get back to sleep. According to the Ohio State University, anxiety is to blame and reportedly it “can cause you to wake up in the middle of the night and have trouble getting back to sleep (called middle insomnia, or sleep maintenance insomnia). Terminal insomnia, which happens when you wake up before your ideal wake-up time and just can’t fall back asleep, may be a sign of depression.” Doctors and specialists subscribe all kinds of medication to suppress this ‘sleeplessness’.
Proof is in the pudding
So, I thought, let’s see … I’m not anxious … and I am certainly not depressed. I’ve been using natural supplements to support my body and I feel great, but I still wake up. What I’m going to do is get up and meditate, and not go back to sleep, just like Rumi’s poem suggests. I’ve figured that there are always two sides to a coin. Without one side there is no other … obviously. What if the insomnia is just the one side. What if there was another angle to this. Another side. Where I can ask for what I really want! I decided to pursue this and possibly discover the ‘other side’.
I had been meditating for quite a while now. It has been a true blessing. During these quiet times I often become inspired to do something special to expand my life in specific directions. When I started meditating in these early morning hours I was astounded at how different it was. How beautiful it was. Complete and peaceful silence followed by interesting and powerful “insights”! Are these insights coming from me? From my sub-conscious? God? These were thoughts that I wouldn’t normally think. Thoughts that can be construed as guidance. The clarity I experience when I meditate in these early hours is astounding.
It is at this hour that all momentum of the day subsides
When I investigated this further I came to realise that it is at this hour that all momentum of the day subsides. All thoughts, concerns and worries are laid to rest. Thoughts and concerns for the following day have not started. It is the tipping point where you and the universe are one. Peace takes over and a feeling of bliss fills your body. Oh how wonderful it is to just sit there and be in the presence of ‘all that is’ while my cup runneth over. Is this what it is like to be in the presence of God? It must be! When the whole world around me disappears, and a smile rushes to my face and tears stream from my eyes, I will hear the words of God. And the words “Be still and know that I am God” becomes an all-encompassing truth. It is during this time that I receive ideas, direction, insights, comfort, knowledge and so much more.
The full understanding that all is in control.
Rumi was right! He must have experienced this. He must have known that this is the hour that God speaks. When “those that have ears can hear“. The reason why Jesus often went into the wilderness to meditate. This kind of guidance is priceless for me as a loving mother. The full understanding that all is in control. That all is well. That life is a beautiful mystery of learning and growing in joy and love. That I can ask protection for my children and know that it is done – because as a mother, that is what I really want.
I now know what real faith is.
This kind of joy and peace is what all mothers need and deserve.
The information on this blog is for educational and entertainment purposes only and should not be construed as advice, diagnosis or implied treatment. Please consult a professional should you experience discomfort or dis-ease.